Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
