Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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