when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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