i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
