You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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