Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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