i just wanna soil my oats bro
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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