Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
he just fucked me for my cheese.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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