i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Then you guys just all showered together...?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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