We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
