is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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