Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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