hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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