the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
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Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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