The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
