But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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