i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's never too late to be topless.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You're a disaster
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