Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
