So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
