Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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