i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
