In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
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ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
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And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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