What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i think i just lost a toe
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
