After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Swine flu. Run for my life!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
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Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
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when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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