Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
