I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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