I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
