enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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