Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
