is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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