now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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