He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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