suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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