I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
