I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
