i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
