I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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