i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Someone shit on the floor
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
