I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
