You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
