STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
40s are totally the cure
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
