also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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