THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
