i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize