Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
