i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
