Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
