I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
