We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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