so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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