is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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