no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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