I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
