You really coming over, don't trick.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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