Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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