I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
