My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
