I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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