I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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