Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
