When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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