The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
if i died would you start the facebook group?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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