it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize